Do you have a clear direction for your life? What life long goals and dreams do you have for your life, career, health, relationships, wealth and spirituality? Are you actively pursuing them? Or are you just keeping them stashed at the back of your mind?
Sleepwalkers - These are people who live through
their lives in an unconsciousness state. It is not just about being
physically awake - Many people around us are awake, yet living
unconsciously. They are not fully aware of who they are, the larger
context of life they are a part of and their real purpose in life.
Sleepwalkers look like any one of us, but are
really just physical shells living through their lives as drones. Have
you ever seen people who have no clarity on their life? These people
are not able to articulate what their life is about or what they want
to do. Everyday, they are just running around doing various activities
such as working, playing, partying, sleeping, but none of it has any
relation to life in the bigger picture. To them, that is what they have
come to know as life.
These people are the sleepwalkers.
How do you know if you are a sleepwalker? Below are 8 signs to watch out for:
1. Lack of awareness of the bigger picture.
Ability to see beyond what is before you physically. It is being
aware that the boundaries of life is not just limited to what is in
your direct sphere of contact, such as your family, friends, religion
and workplace. Sleepwalkers are not aware of their life as part of a
bigger context - as part of the whole universe, as part of the whole
spectrum of human history, as part of something greater than what they
see everyday. What do you think of your life in terms of?
2. Not living in alignment with real purpose.
Do you know what your purpose in life is? Do you have a clear vision
of how you want your life to be 5 years, 15 years, 30 years from now?
Or is it fuzzy and undetermined? Sleepwalkers are not aware of what
their purpose in life is. They have ambiguous, sketchy purposes which
they were fed with at some point in their lives - and they are not
fully convinced of it themselves either. Some have an idea of their
dreams and goals, but they put it in the backburner in pursuit of other things that others expect them to do in life.
3. life runs on auto-pilot.
Are you caught in the loop of ‘going through the motions’ or
‘running the rat race’? Sleepwalkers live their lives out in automated
mood, repeating the same activities daily with no conscious control
over them. They drone through the weekdays, looking forward to fridays
and weekends, where they recharge themselves for yet another dead week
ahead. This cycle continues week after week, with no end. They are too
comfortably snuggled in the cycle to do anything about it. Occasionally
events happen which derails the motion, such as the transition to a
different life phase, changing careers,
loss of a job, etc. This is also referred to as the mid-life crisis.
When this happens, they get a wake up call. They start realizing that
they have not really not living their life. At this point, some may
either start taking direct action on their lives or scurry back into
their rat wheel, convincing themselves that their current life is the best one.
4. Engage into non-value added activities.
When sleepwalkers are not busy getting caught in the motions, they
fill the gaps in their lives with random activities. This includes
addictions such as playing games,
partying, eating, watching TV, surfing the net with no end in mind,
gossiping, complaining, etc. The person is often not capable to stop
this at will until there is an external stimulus which cuts it off,
such as time to sleep or eat. He or she is also not able to articulate
a clear reason for engaging the activity, other than ‘Because it is
fun’, ‘I like it’ or ‘There is nothing else to do’.
5. Passive or avoidance approach to life.
This is common motif of “Living on a day to day basis” and “Live and
let live”. They roll along with the punches and manage them as they
come along. Control is something they relinquish to people around them.
Asking ‘why?’, questioning existing establishments or taking charge of
events in their lives are just not in their nature.
Sometimes they find themselves trapped and unhappy with where they are in their lives, such as their relationships
or their work. However, they remain passive about it because they do
not see any way out. When asked about their reactive behaviour, they
reply with “I want to, but [insert reason]” .They are under the
perception that what they are doing is temporary sacrifice for a
better, long-term future.
They dislike conflict and try to avoid issues or confrontations as
much as possible. After a while of avoiding problems, the unresolved
issues will culminate to a breaking point scream for their attention.
The sleepwalker’s automatic reaction is to avoid and drown them out by
engaging in numbing activities. Unfortunately, this does not resolve
anything and the problem emerges again sometime in the future, in a
different context. An analogy would be the popular myth about the
ostriches ‘burying its head under the sand’. Just because you refuse to
acknowledge a problem, does not mean it isn’t there.
6. Find no time to do things you want to do.
Sleepwalkers are often busy all the time - they frequently complain
about having a lack of time, not being able to do things they want,
etc. But they do not realize that they are the ones who put themselves
in that position in the first place. When questioned by other people,
they are cannot exactly put a finger to where all the time and energy
went into. Sleepwalkers are always waiting for a proverbial ‘next time’
for their goals, dreams and desires in life, but they do not realize that the ‘next time’ never comes.
7. Unconscious of your thoughts and emotions.
Are you aware that 60,000 thoughts run through our mind every day?
What thoughts dominant your mind everyday? What were you thinking and
feeling just before you started reading this article? Sleepwalkers
constantly have their minds cluttered. In addition, they also have low
awareness of those thoughts that occupy their mind.
8. Lack of motivation or ambition.
Sleepwalkers are not very motivated or driven in their lives. They
live simply because they are here. They spend their lives living other
peoples’ expectations to make something out of their lives. While some
of them have personal goals and desires, they keep them stashed away in pursuit of other things which they feel they ‘need’ to do.
Does any of the criteria above describe your current situation or anyone around you?
My life as a sleepwalker
Up till 2 years ago, I was living my life as a sleepwalker. I was busy pursuing inculcated
goals
such as getting good results, earning money and becoming successful. I
was caught in the paper chase, such as scoring in projects and exams,
getting a high CAP (GPA) and being on the dean’s list. I was busy
earning money from the side with my designing
Business and tuition. My
life
was single-mindedly focused on what would make me rich and successful.
When I was not busy doing those, I would be playing MMORPGs (mass
multiplayer online role-playing games) or online games with my friends,
indulging in excessive materialism through shopping, going out with
friends, watching/rewatching my favourite dramas, chatting online or
just surfing random sites. I still remember the
games
my friends and I were addicted to at the time were Ragnarok Online,
Maple Story, Gunbound and Warcraft 3; My favourite dramas/shows were
Buffy, Angel, Charmed, Friends, American Idol, among others.
As I was growing up, I was slowly gaining consciousness through
random encounters in my life. However, I was still largely a
sleepwalker living out other people’s vision and goals,
such as marketers and advertisers, the society, family, etc. I was
lacking my own overarching vision in life. It was when I was
transitioning between graduating from university and moving on to work life that I was jolted awake.
When it comes to education in Singapore (or any other developed
society for that matter), everything has already been conveniently
segmentized in chronological stages of primary, secondary, college/polytechnic and/or university. As students, all we had to do was ensure we can seamlessly progress one stage to the next.
Graduation from university however, marks the end of the road. This is where the forkroads appear.
My imminent graduation forced me to think if this was what I want to
do for the rest of my life. It made me think of the actual meaning my
life is based on. When I looked at the bigger context of life, I found
out that external, ego-based achievements do not matter at all in the
long run - they are physical posessions which are impermanent. They are
definitely valuable right now, they may be even more so 10 years later.
But how about 100 years later? 1,000 years later? When I looked ahead,
it became obvious that this was not how I want the rest of my life to turn out.
As I have detailed out in Two Important Things that Led to My
Discovery of My Real Purpose (over 4,000 word article on the story
behind the discovery of my purpose!), I eventually found my real
purpose - to help others achieve their fullest potential and live their
best possible lives. It is my life
vision to wake up all other sleepwalkers and unlocking all the
potential that is hiding inside of them. Fast forward to two years
later - This personal development blog is created as one of the mediums I plan to achieve that vision. :)
Sleepwalkers around us
Whenever I look around me, I see sleepwalkers droning out their
lives. People running fervently in the rat race and in their rat
wheels. People busy earning money for a better life
in the future. People who do not know what their lives really stand
for. People wasting their existence away. People denying themselves of
what they really want on the inside. People not knowing what they truly
want.
Everyday, it simply charges me up so much seeing all these potential
in these people that is just waiting to be unleashed. There are times
when I feel like just grabbing these people by their shoulders and
shake them violently out of their stance!
Similarly, I get energized to no end when I witness sleepwalkers waking up from their dreams. :D It can be due to life
transitions, sudden wake-up calls, ephiphanies, etc. In the past 2
years, I have seen people in both my workplace and social circle who
suddenly wake up from their auto-pilot sequence one day and make hard
decisions to pursue what they truly want to do. Whenever that happens,
I will feel a surge of warmth and ardency welling up inside of me,
because I know that no matter what they do from here on, everything
will fall right into place.
Waking up from your dream
Maybe you just found out that you have been sleepwalking your whole
life away. When you first wake up from your dream, you may be shocked
at how much of your real life
has gone past you while you were sleeping. You may angry at yourself.
You may be upset. You may even be depressed. That is perfectly fair.
The most important thing from here on is what you choose to do after
waking up. Are you going to delude yourself and go back to sleep,
pretending all this has never happened? Or are you going to
courageously face reality and start leading the life you are meant to
live? It is akin to when Morpheus offered Neo the red and blue pill in
Matrix. The red pill reflects the truth; the reality. The blue pill
reflects the dream; your life as you have known it to be. The red pill
is what is going to liberate you and let you achieve your greatest life ever. The blue pill represents a path of denial - denying who you truly are and what you are really meant to do here.
Recognize that you have power over your situation and you can start
acting on it, right now. Through conscious, deliberate action, you can
pave the path for whatever life you want. Everyday in my life, I make
choices and actions which move me closer to my goals. And you can definitely do the same too. No matter where you are in life
right now, no matter who you are, no matter how old you are - it is
never too late to be who you are meant to be. Unless you choose to take
action on what you want, nothing is ever going to come out of it.
It is easy to just go back to sleep - back to the life you knew. But
is it what you really want to do? Is this how you are meant to live out
your existence? Are you really living your best possible life this way?
What to do after you wake up
If you have decided to pick the red pill and wake up from your dream, congratulations! This is where your real life begins :D Here are the following articles I would like you to start off with:
1)
Discover Your Real Purpose series (7 articles). There is a lot of
information written inside, including important factors to consider
when defining your purpose, an exercise to find your purpose, how to
integrate your purpose into your current life after discovering it
2) You Are the CEO of Your Life. Look at your life via a refreshing angle - holistically as a company, rather than in a myopic manner.
3)
Goal Achievement series (6 articles; Coming soon in the next few days).
This is a comprehensive 5-step framework (ESPER) which I have
developed. It will help you to transform your purpose into concrete goals and conquer them.
The path ahead will not be smooth. It will be challenging, it will
be rocky and you may even feel like quitting at times. But I can
guarantee the level of Happiness
and quality of life you will find on this path will be significantly
greater than if you were to live out your existence out as a drone. I
guarantee you that you will find more fulfillment on this path compared
to anything else you ever did. I guarantee you that you will start
feeling exuberance and passion unlike anything you have never felt
before in your life.
I will end this article with a quote from Socrates in the movie
Peaceful Warrior: “Death isn’t sad. The sad thing is: most people don’t
live at all. “